Root Canal

Have you ever had a root canal? I have had two in the past three months! It's really exciting and wonderful to have such interesting dental work done in such a short amount of time. At least I have made a few dental friends. I'm pretty sure I look like a piggy bank to my dentist now. I noticed how his eyes turn into those cartoon money signs when he sees me.

The first tooth they did about two months ago and I was glad when it was done. Guilt followed me to every visit. The money I was spending on my teeth would probably have covered my college tuition. I was ready for my husband to yell, scream, throw things, wring his hands or just get miffed. Instead I got something worse. I got the "If this is what it takes to make you take care of your teeth from now on, it's worth every penny." CRAP! Why couldn't he have just stopped talking to me for a few months?

The procedure is actually pretty interesting. You go in and sit in a small waiting room long enough to get interested in the gossip magazine you nonchalantly grabbed before sitting down. You are whisked into the room where you will be spending a good hour and a half. There you sit and promise yourself you will sneak a peak at the juicy story in US weekly when you are leaving.

In comes one of the most beautiful smiles in the world. She is tall thin and so likeable! This amazing dentist doesn't even make you feel guilty about the way you've been taking care of your teeth which has resulted in you having to get root canals. That is a super power in of itself!

The dentist pops on her surgical mask and sticks you with the equivalent of needles you see the first year of your child's life. Still, you find this woman to be a kindred spirit, someone who really "gets" you. Your face swells and you know all the assistants are giggling at you while liquid dribbles from your mouth.

Your mouth is then draped with a plastic green tent, there to make sure you can't breath if you have a stuffy nose, seriously. The drilling is about to begin and you can't get over how such a nice person could have one of the most hated jobs in the world! Then, suddenly, you get a glimpse of the size of the drill she is using. You Think: Good god, thank you for poking me with so many needles earlier.

In the course of an hour and a half you smell a few different aromas: burning, chlorine and something that is reminiscent of poo. After drowning in your saliva for the entirety, the green tent is removed and the likeable superhero dentist turns to her assistant and says "Suction." She has just saved your life, where is her cape? A few xrays and then you are whisked back to the waiting room where you pay your fee happily (come on, your kindred spirit just fixed your tooth!).

You catch a glimpse in the mirror. Horror! Half of your face does not work. Smiling makes you look like you're crazy or on something. Leaving as quickly as you can, you break that promise to read the juice in that stupid magazine. Getting home to your husband and children you suddenly realize that you are in more pain then you've ever been before.

The dentist doesn't seem so much like a Superhero anymore. It's more like a super villain and she's just put kryptonite in your tooth.... ouch.