Well, here I sit with my new computer in front of me. Whether you are a Mac user or a PC user I think you'd love the fact that my computer is right next to my bed. Can you say type until you drop? I will! Can't wait to get back to the writing!
I feel it's been a rough fall. With both kids catching "Hand Foot and Mouth" disease and not being able to leave my son at school without there being a crying fit, it's been full. Very full.
I visited a spectrum specific "play place" a few months ago and have lots to say about it, but I digress. After a long week and hours of watching my husband have a good time on the computer I'm ready to fall back into the groove and write again :) hoping it gets easier...no? Oh well! :D
Friday, December 9, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Babies
We were at the Children's Museum (as is our saturday ritual) and I noticed alot of pregnant women with two or three toddlers in toe. My first thought, "Thank god it's not me."
... Is that awful? Shouldn't I be excited for them bringing another life into this world? I would never turn to one of these mothers with a winning smile and say "Hi, I see you're pregnant. Enjoy the screaming baby." But I can't help but feel some glee knowing I will never have to do it again. The birth is the fastest most painless part! (this coming from a woman who had an epidural. :P)
So I watched as my two beautiful children played side by side. I watched and was thankful I would never have to worry about not having formula around for my baby or a place to breast feed. It's freeing.
There will be other obstacles ahead, but I don't know about them so I'm not worried about them. It's the stuff I've already delt with that I can happily say I won't be dealing with in the future.....
famous last words, right?
... Is that awful? Shouldn't I be excited for them bringing another life into this world? I would never turn to one of these mothers with a winning smile and say "Hi, I see you're pregnant. Enjoy the screaming baby." But I can't help but feel some glee knowing I will never have to do it again. The birth is the fastest most painless part! (this coming from a woman who had an epidural. :P)
So I watched as my two beautiful children played side by side. I watched and was thankful I would never have to worry about not having formula around for my baby or a place to breast feed. It's freeing.
There will be other obstacles ahead, but I don't know about them so I'm not worried about them. It's the stuff I've already delt with that I can happily say I won't be dealing with in the future.....
famous last words, right?
Friday, June 3, 2011
Android
So here I am using my android take my blog I'm actually using the speaker function to write This is the coolest thing I've ever used I like talking in the background This post maybe the weirdest of my posts But I don't care this is cool It's been fun download apps And enjoying my phone feliz Of course it is easy to sing Like blog when was my last blog Please forgive and be patient I'm sure I'll be back soon This phone is awesome
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
My New Toddler
My Daughter is one today. She is sleeping as I type and is super sick. Poor thing has a bad virus and so do I!
It's interesting to think that this has been a year long journey of being a mother of two. I remember when my first's birthday rolled around and I thought "Well, there's one down..." At this point I don't really know what to think, other than when can I take more pain meds?
She is different than her brother ever was. More interested in the world around her and the people in it. She is more interested in the noise something makes when it hits the floor and she always looks to us for approval.
I even caught her dancing the other day. She has this toy she can push a button on and music will start (I'm sure there are a bazillion toys out there like this). She was pushing the button, swinging her arms around, the music would end then she would look at me with a huge smile and clap joyously.
This seemed almost impossible. I thought to myself, "this child can't be dancing." When I watched and she did the exact same thing about four times in a row, I had to agree that she was actually dancing! My baby is dancing. What else could a mother ask for?
(a sick mama could ask for some pain killers)
It's interesting to think that this has been a year long journey of being a mother of two. I remember when my first's birthday rolled around and I thought "Well, there's one down..." At this point I don't really know what to think, other than when can I take more pain meds?
She is different than her brother ever was. More interested in the world around her and the people in it. She is more interested in the noise something makes when it hits the floor and she always looks to us for approval.
I even caught her dancing the other day. She has this toy she can push a button on and music will start (I'm sure there are a bazillion toys out there like this). She was pushing the button, swinging her arms around, the music would end then she would look at me with a huge smile and clap joyously.
This seemed almost impossible. I thought to myself, "this child can't be dancing." When I watched and she did the exact same thing about four times in a row, I had to agree that she was actually dancing! My baby is dancing. What else could a mother ask for?
(a sick mama could ask for some pain killers)
Monday, May 23, 2011
Shoulda Staid in Bed
Do you ever have those mornings when you think you should have staid in bed? I think most people who think this actually could have staid in bed without disrupting the world all that much, but for parents of little kids the world would stop turning of they didn't get up and make the favorite "cereal and milk" you so often do.
So instead I could have shirked my responsibilities and staid in bed this morning- and really, I should have...
1) baby and mommy with a fever
2) toddler not getting to a playdate because of aforementioned baby
3) toddler running around bored out of his mind
4) mommy trying to calm the baby
5) no more motrin
6) keys locked in car
7) wallet locked in car... along with money
8) toddler deciding he doesn't want to listen to mommy as she tries to stop him from walking accross the street
9)wanting to cry
Of course this all seems to have passed as my super next door neighbor found us falling apart and offered to fix it all....
Thank god for Librarians :)
So instead I could have shirked my responsibilities and staid in bed this morning- and really, I should have...
1) baby and mommy with a fever
2) toddler not getting to a playdate because of aforementioned baby
3) toddler running around bored out of his mind
4) mommy trying to calm the baby
5) no more motrin
6) keys locked in car
7) wallet locked in car... along with money
8) toddler deciding he doesn't want to listen to mommy as she tries to stop him from walking accross the street
9)wanting to cry
Of course this all seems to have passed as my super next door neighbor found us falling apart and offered to fix it all....
Thank god for Librarians :)
Saturday, May 21, 2011
waiting for the world to end
so i've decided not to use caps in this entry as i don't want to lose time...
is the end of the world coming and if so should i be in a better outfit?
All this craziness is crazy. And yes that was supposed to sound over crazy. I can honestly tell you I never thought the world was going to end today and yes the day is still young. I hope all the people who have been praying for the rapture aren't too upset when rapturing doesn't happen.
I do believe the world will end some day. It won't be something that a human will be able to predict or even explain because it will most likely be the sun exploding and taking us all with it. That seems much more logical to me than a God deciding we were "good" and shouldn't have to die on the earth like every other creature.
I've never understood the whole "creatures were made for us to exploit" part of christianity. As a buddhist I believe that every living thing is connected and that we'll meet after death. Of course that doesn't mean I'll be having tea with an Oak tree in a fluffy clouded world people like to call Nirvana, it means when I die my energy will mix with all that around it.
You will not be able to tell me from a bug, because energy doesn't just disappear, it goes somewhere. And I will too... hopefully I'll find my way into a horses mane or perhaps a large bush. Heh, large bush.... If and when the world ends I believe the energy of every living thing on earth will move and become part of another life.
So, even if I do happen to not be chosen to be taken away by some being showing up and letting me fly up to their space ship, I'll be happy to stay here and hope when I die I can enjoy the earth just as much as I do now.
is the end of the world coming and if so should i be in a better outfit?
All this craziness is crazy. And yes that was supposed to sound over crazy. I can honestly tell you I never thought the world was going to end today and yes the day is still young. I hope all the people who have been praying for the rapture aren't too upset when rapturing doesn't happen.
I do believe the world will end some day. It won't be something that a human will be able to predict or even explain because it will most likely be the sun exploding and taking us all with it. That seems much more logical to me than a God deciding we were "good" and shouldn't have to die on the earth like every other creature.
I've never understood the whole "creatures were made for us to exploit" part of christianity. As a buddhist I believe that every living thing is connected and that we'll meet after death. Of course that doesn't mean I'll be having tea with an Oak tree in a fluffy clouded world people like to call Nirvana, it means when I die my energy will mix with all that around it.
You will not be able to tell me from a bug, because energy doesn't just disappear, it goes somewhere. And I will too... hopefully I'll find my way into a horses mane or perhaps a large bush. Heh, large bush.... If and when the world ends I believe the energy of every living thing on earth will move and become part of another life.
So, even if I do happen to not be chosen to be taken away by some being showing up and letting me fly up to their space ship, I'll be happy to stay here and hope when I die I can enjoy the earth just as much as I do now.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Three Year Old's Dream
What is a three year old's dream? How about having huge trucks barreling up and down the street just outside of your house for about a month? Or how about being able to watch them work up close while you wait for the bus to show up?
Yes, this is happening right now in my street. My neighbors who do not have young kids are flabbergasted by all the noise and commotion. They groaned and moaned about parking on the street for a week instead of their driveways. The cars are covered in dust and everyone's grass is sporting spray painted arrows. It's miserable.
My three year old son is fixated on these trucks. He even calls them "My Trucks". "Go outside see my trucks?" It's making the whole craziness seem a bit more fun.
I park my car on the street and dodge one-man-bulldozers with groceries in my hands. Not to mention that I usually have my one year old wiggling to get free. As I finally cross the street I have to either walk into the deep muddy ditch the workers have made to put in a curb or hope my hop will get me over it without falling or hurting an ankle.
Imagine this as a three year old. Watching as huge amazing machines pass by fast, my three year old squeals with delight. He hops around but always holds my hand. We quickly run between passing machines and it's like a game! The jumps become higher and the squeals more piercing after we have made it through. We make it to the edge of the ditch. The game just gets more exciting when he discovers there is mud everywhere. Swinging his free arm as far as it will go my son will make a leap into the air... completely missing the other edge. Laughs burst from him as he tries to get me to join him in the fun. After army crawling out of the ditch he is sufficiently dirty. We stand there for another few minutes and watch as the machines pass by. When we get in the house he usually sits by the window and announces when a truck has passed.
I can't help but wonder if the workers know how much fun my son has when they drive by. I know the garbage man loves it when my son runs out of the house and waves. I just wonder if the construction workers realize they have a three year old's dream job.
Yes, this is happening right now in my street. My neighbors who do not have young kids are flabbergasted by all the noise and commotion. They groaned and moaned about parking on the street for a week instead of their driveways. The cars are covered in dust and everyone's grass is sporting spray painted arrows. It's miserable.
My three year old son is fixated on these trucks. He even calls them "My Trucks". "Go outside see my trucks?" It's making the whole craziness seem a bit more fun.
I park my car on the street and dodge one-man-bulldozers with groceries in my hands. Not to mention that I usually have my one year old wiggling to get free. As I finally cross the street I have to either walk into the deep muddy ditch the workers have made to put in a curb or hope my hop will get me over it without falling or hurting an ankle.
Imagine this as a three year old. Watching as huge amazing machines pass by fast, my three year old squeals with delight. He hops around but always holds my hand. We quickly run between passing machines and it's like a game! The jumps become higher and the squeals more piercing after we have made it through. We make it to the edge of the ditch. The game just gets more exciting when he discovers there is mud everywhere. Swinging his free arm as far as it will go my son will make a leap into the air... completely missing the other edge. Laughs burst from him as he tries to get me to join him in the fun. After army crawling out of the ditch he is sufficiently dirty. We stand there for another few minutes and watch as the machines pass by. When we get in the house he usually sits by the window and announces when a truck has passed.
I can't help but wonder if the workers know how much fun my son has when they drive by. I know the garbage man loves it when my son runs out of the house and waves. I just wonder if the construction workers realize they have a three year old's dream job.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Bald Eagle
There was a Bald Eagle shot in North Carolina around where I used to go to school. It's sad to see such a huge bird (although it was just a baby) pictured in such a lifeless way. Poor thing didn't have a chance. And now I will give my opinion of guns (please feel free to stop reading):
I don't like them. I don't want to own anything that was made for killing. "Well, you better throw away all your knives!" my father in law responded to my above announcement. I explained to him that knives are used as tools.
There is no gun that was made to cut a carrot. Of course I will agree that guns and gun powder were invented to bring peace. Why then do we believe that in a country where peace is everywhere do we need to carry a gun? I don't see the need.
"To protect my family" is a good reason. I can understand feeling that something which puts power into your hands against a stronger individual would bring you peace of mind. Of course because a gun has no loyalty there is a chance it can be turned on you. So, I also believe that if you bring a gun into your house you should also consider it a weapon against your family just as much as a way to defend it. Makes me rethink what kind of weapons I'd bring in.
If someone were to come into my house and shoot me, killing me and my children would not be all that harmful to us. We would be dead. I believe that this person, who is so sick to need to kill anyone, would carry us with them. The killer would have to know they did a horrible wrong. I would not be able to carry killing any human, I have a hard enough time with the thought of eating meat.
So, I choose not to have a gun because I choose not to be given the chance to kill anyone.
... but of course it's my choice, and you have a choice too.
The fascination with the gun is not all together a bad thing. They are pretty amazing. You put a small ball in this tube and it shoots out the other side. I have nothing wrong with liking the mechanics of guns and learning how they work. That is something I would call "healthy" for anyone to have. There are thousands of museums with great displays of guns and that I find amazing. I love to walk through and see how the gun has evolved through the years. It's a study.
Gun owners who know more about their guns than their cars are people I believe should own guns. They become great teachers on respecting the machine. Gotta love the guys who can tell you why a gun in a movie is wrong and what the person would really be using. These people I love! These guys have their guns locked up and in a completely different place than their bullets.
.... Just thinking now, I'd love to meet a vegetarian gun enthusiast.
I don't like them. I don't want to own anything that was made for killing. "Well, you better throw away all your knives!" my father in law responded to my above announcement. I explained to him that knives are used as tools.
There is no gun that was made to cut a carrot. Of course I will agree that guns and gun powder were invented to bring peace. Why then do we believe that in a country where peace is everywhere do we need to carry a gun? I don't see the need.
"To protect my family" is a good reason. I can understand feeling that something which puts power into your hands against a stronger individual would bring you peace of mind. Of course because a gun has no loyalty there is a chance it can be turned on you. So, I also believe that if you bring a gun into your house you should also consider it a weapon against your family just as much as a way to defend it. Makes me rethink what kind of weapons I'd bring in.
If someone were to come into my house and shoot me, killing me and my children would not be all that harmful to us. We would be dead. I believe that this person, who is so sick to need to kill anyone, would carry us with them. The killer would have to know they did a horrible wrong. I would not be able to carry killing any human, I have a hard enough time with the thought of eating meat.
So, I choose not to have a gun because I choose not to be given the chance to kill anyone.
... but of course it's my choice, and you have a choice too.
The fascination with the gun is not all together a bad thing. They are pretty amazing. You put a small ball in this tube and it shoots out the other side. I have nothing wrong with liking the mechanics of guns and learning how they work. That is something I would call "healthy" for anyone to have. There are thousands of museums with great displays of guns and that I find amazing. I love to walk through and see how the gun has evolved through the years. It's a study.
Gun owners who know more about their guns than their cars are people I believe should own guns. They become great teachers on respecting the machine. Gotta love the guys who can tell you why a gun in a movie is wrong and what the person would really be using. These people I love! These guys have their guns locked up and in a completely different place than their bullets.
.... Just thinking now, I'd love to meet a vegetarian gun enthusiast.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Birthday
My daughter is turning One in a week and I couldn't be happier. Every mother sees their child's first birthday as a wonderful milestone. It's your baby growing up, bittersweet in the greatest way. Of course I am not every mother.
I am so excited that my daughter is turning one because there will be cake, ice cream and I now don't have a baby anymore! That's right! I have a toddler. Yes, toddlers are a rough period too. Yes, I still have diapers to change. BUT there is no more formula, the bottles are on their way out and we'll soon hear more words coming from her.
Who wouldn't be excited about connecting with their child on a social level? I watched as my son grew but his expressions never changed and he didn't seem all that interested in us. My daughter is walking now and she stands there pointing at everything around her. She'll bleat out as she points and look to me for my response. How awesome is that?!
As you may have already guessed I am also excited that I will never be pregnant again, I will never give birth again AND I will never have a baby again. Ahhhh, those three phrases brought together make my whole body relax.
Now, let's just keep the grand babies from coming for a VERY VERY long time..... How about 25 years? I think at that point I MAY be nostalgic for those poopy, crying, gooy, helpless beings again.
Maybe 45 years.
I am so excited that my daughter is turning one because there will be cake, ice cream and I now don't have a baby anymore! That's right! I have a toddler. Yes, toddlers are a rough period too. Yes, I still have diapers to change. BUT there is no more formula, the bottles are on their way out and we'll soon hear more words coming from her.
Who wouldn't be excited about connecting with their child on a social level? I watched as my son grew but his expressions never changed and he didn't seem all that interested in us. My daughter is walking now and she stands there pointing at everything around her. She'll bleat out as she points and look to me for my response. How awesome is that?!
As you may have already guessed I am also excited that I will never be pregnant again, I will never give birth again AND I will never have a baby again. Ahhhh, those three phrases brought together make my whole body relax.
Now, let's just keep the grand babies from coming for a VERY VERY long time..... How about 25 years? I think at that point I MAY be nostalgic for those poopy, crying, gooy, helpless beings again.
Maybe 45 years.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
One of those days
Have you ever had one of those days where everything just doesn't seem worth it. I don't mean in a larger sense, but cleaning up is just not worth it today cause I'll have kids ripping apart my couch in an hour or two. Or you know that if you start to clean up the bathroom your three year old will just pee all over it again? Well, it's just one of those days.
I happen to be that weird breed of person who becomes energized by bleak rainy days. I really should move to Seattle. It's strange to feel the power bubble over when I wake to a gray morning. I feel ready to take on anything. But, man, this sunny stuff? I'm not a big fan.
Who in their right mind would believe that I am gloomy on a sunny day? I'm sure it will get better when the children are asleep and I can relax with a beer. Ahhhh, but a beer tastes so good on a sunny day doesn't it?
I happen to be that weird breed of person who becomes energized by bleak rainy days. I really should move to Seattle. It's strange to feel the power bubble over when I wake to a gray morning. I feel ready to take on anything. But, man, this sunny stuff? I'm not a big fan.
Who in their right mind would believe that I am gloomy on a sunny day? I'm sure it will get better when the children are asleep and I can relax with a beer. Ahhhh, but a beer tastes so good on a sunny day doesn't it?
Monday, May 16, 2011
Weighted Blanket
I made a blanket! It was going to be easier than pie... and turned out to be like making a cheese cake.
My husband and I measured out where our son would need the weight on the blanket. We had heard that it should be 10% of your child's weight. We decided to make it 6lbs. He's growing like a weed and want the blanket to work for at least the next year or two.
So we took two top sheets and sewed them together. We started making the grid of 9x6 squares (each being 4x6 inches) by only doing the horizontal lines first. After we made those I began by making the first line of the bottom of the grid, where my son's feet would be.
Each 4x6 inch square was filled from the top. Also, good tip: we used a long wrapping paper tube to make sure the "polly pellets" didn't stick to the sides of the fabric. This made it so much easier.
After we filled each row we would sew a line across and start all over again with the new row.
This is the end result... sideways.
For a 6lbs blanket:
you make 9x6 grid of 1 cup full of "polly pellets"
start by making horizontal lines first
fill the 6 pockets then sew a line and repeat until all grid pockets are filled
use a paper tube to help keep pellets from sticking to sides of fabric
also- working with the sewing machine was the hardest part. You may want to get a second set of hands just in case.
I would agree that the 6hrs this took plus the $30 or so dollars for material was well worth it as a weighted blanket can cost $200 or more. I hope this is a helpful treat! Our son loves it and our pocket book doesn't hurt one bit!!
My husband and I measured out where our son would need the weight on the blanket. We had heard that it should be 10% of your child's weight. We decided to make it 6lbs. He's growing like a weed and want the blanket to work for at least the next year or two.
So we took two top sheets and sewed them together. We started making the grid of 9x6 squares (each being 4x6 inches) by only doing the horizontal lines first. After we made those I began by making the first line of the bottom of the grid, where my son's feet would be.
Each 4x6 inch square was filled from the top. Also, good tip: we used a long wrapping paper tube to make sure the "polly pellets" didn't stick to the sides of the fabric. This made it so much easier.
After we filled each row we would sew a line across and start all over again with the new row.
For a 6lbs blanket:
you make 9x6 grid of 1 cup full of "polly pellets"
start by making horizontal lines first
fill the 6 pockets then sew a line and repeat until all grid pockets are filled
use a paper tube to help keep pellets from sticking to sides of fabric
also- working with the sewing machine was the hardest part. You may want to get a second set of hands just in case.
I would agree that the 6hrs this took plus the $30 or so dollars for material was well worth it as a weighted blanket can cost $200 or more. I hope this is a helpful treat! Our son loves it and our pocket book doesn't hurt one bit!!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Hair cut
I have a rule for myself, I will spend an outrageous amount of money on a hair cut because I have hair that seems to hate me. If I don't get it cut by a good stylist it seems to have a mind of it's own and decides I don't need to look attractive or my own age.
It's almost as if I am sending my hair to a boot came for disrespectful teenagers. It's the last resort when my hair gets out of hand. When it gets back there are praises and oos and aahs. I am gorgeous no matter what I wear and a perfect mother to boot!
Of course when I have a haircut by a bad stylist I get the outrageously annoying flips and curls which seem to pop out of nowhere. After watching this girl butcher my hair a few days ago I feel out of touch with myself and want to eat marshmallows and sleep for hours. I look like a tub of butter and smell like that creepy guy who happens to stand too close to you on the bus. It's bad.
I went in and my normal stylist had called in sick. They said I could make another appointment or have this girl "Andrea" cut it for me. (yes, I'm using her real name because she sucks and I want people to know she does.) I thought, there is no way my stylist would suggest someone who wasn't up to par with herself- well apparently it wasn't my stylist who suggested this girl but the "Salon". Two minutes after sitting down and being as specific as I could be about what I wanted, this valley girl proceeded to tell me two things which should have made me walk away: 1) she hadn't done all her work at beauty school and 2) she was dating the salon owner's son... ya, at that point I should have stood up and walked out.
Instead of going with my instincts and running away, I sat there and watched as this woman gave me bangs. I had hair almost to my shoulders and I wanted the back spikey and the front long to my chin. You know one of those freakin awesome cuts that makes you look like a superstar? Ya, like that. I also mentioned that I don't style my hair in the morning. I'm just lazy that way- oh and have two children. After she had given me long bangs and what I would call "woman sideburns", she looked at me and very seriously proclaimed "Now, you WILL have to style this."
I have one thing to say- screw you sweetheart! I do have an appointment with my stylist on Friday but don't have much hope of her being able to save what has been done... perhaps we can just shave it off, it's Buddha's birthday this weekend, perhaps a monk look would fit right in during the parade?
So, I will now be a walking reminder that 80s hair was awful then and is now. I hope someone gets enjoyment out of seeing my crazy mop cause every time I see it in the mirror all I want to do is ask the fat woman for directions... cause she looks like she's been here a while.
It's almost as if I am sending my hair to a boot came for disrespectful teenagers. It's the last resort when my hair gets out of hand. When it gets back there are praises and oos and aahs. I am gorgeous no matter what I wear and a perfect mother to boot!
Of course when I have a haircut by a bad stylist I get the outrageously annoying flips and curls which seem to pop out of nowhere. After watching this girl butcher my hair a few days ago I feel out of touch with myself and want to eat marshmallows and sleep for hours. I look like a tub of butter and smell like that creepy guy who happens to stand too close to you on the bus. It's bad.
I went in and my normal stylist had called in sick. They said I could make another appointment or have this girl "Andrea" cut it for me. (yes, I'm using her real name because she sucks and I want people to know she does.) I thought, there is no way my stylist would suggest someone who wasn't up to par with herself- well apparently it wasn't my stylist who suggested this girl but the "Salon". Two minutes after sitting down and being as specific as I could be about what I wanted, this valley girl proceeded to tell me two things which should have made me walk away: 1) she hadn't done all her work at beauty school and 2) she was dating the salon owner's son... ya, at that point I should have stood up and walked out.
Instead of going with my instincts and running away, I sat there and watched as this woman gave me bangs. I had hair almost to my shoulders and I wanted the back spikey and the front long to my chin. You know one of those freakin awesome cuts that makes you look like a superstar? Ya, like that. I also mentioned that I don't style my hair in the morning. I'm just lazy that way- oh and have two children. After she had given me long bangs and what I would call "woman sideburns", she looked at me and very seriously proclaimed "Now, you WILL have to style this."
I have one thing to say- screw you sweetheart! I do have an appointment with my stylist on Friday but don't have much hope of her being able to save what has been done... perhaps we can just shave it off, it's Buddha's birthday this weekend, perhaps a monk look would fit right in during the parade?
So, I will now be a walking reminder that 80s hair was awful then and is now. I hope someone gets enjoyment out of seeing my crazy mop cause every time I see it in the mirror all I want to do is ask the fat woman for directions... cause she looks like she's been here a while.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Mess or Sleep
It would be mean and cruel of me to praise the Good Nite Lite and say it saved us. Cause let's be honest, it hasn't. I can see how it would work for a child who understood the phrase: "If you get up you will be in big trouble."
This phrase doesn't seem to work with my child, (I'm not totally bought on the idea that he doesn't understand it) but no matter how many time outs I put him in before the sun comes up, he still wakes two hours earlier than he should and is very confused that he can't leave his room when he wants.
I hear it's normal to be a parent and want so badly to sleep another hour or two. I've heard that in about ten years it will take a crowbar and heavy machinery to get my child out of his bed. Will this reeeaaaaally happen? It's a joke, right?
Let's just say, for argument's sake, that he won't sleep in when he gets older, and if so, it will make the mornings that much weirder. Can you imagine your child making their own breakfast? Wow, now that is something out of the twilight zone.
Imagine your sweet child turning to you from in front of the stove. He is wearing that apron you bought just for him because he loves to keep those beautiful clothes you buy him spotless, he asks: Oh hey mom, would you like some spinach omelet, I made it just for you! When your spouse enters, you look knowingly at each other. You've raised the perfect butler...
Now let reality set in...
Can you imagine the mess in the kitchen, bathroom and living room floor (my child would happily plop himself two feet away from the glow of the TV and proceed to mow down on sugar laced cereal in his underwear... that's what I envision anyway...)? Would you take the couple of hours of sleep over a clean house?
Clean house or not, when it gets to the point you are fantasizing about waking up at 7am, you know you need a mantra to get you through the day.... Think of the mess, think of the mess, think of the mess...
This phrase doesn't seem to work with my child, (I'm not totally bought on the idea that he doesn't understand it) but no matter how many time outs I put him in before the sun comes up, he still wakes two hours earlier than he should and is very confused that he can't leave his room when he wants.
I hear it's normal to be a parent and want so badly to sleep another hour or two. I've heard that in about ten years it will take a crowbar and heavy machinery to get my child out of his bed. Will this reeeaaaaally happen? It's a joke, right?
Let's just say, for argument's sake, that he won't sleep in when he gets older, and if so, it will make the mornings that much weirder. Can you imagine your child making their own breakfast? Wow, now that is something out of the twilight zone.
Imagine your sweet child turning to you from in front of the stove. He is wearing that apron you bought just for him because he loves to keep those beautiful clothes you buy him spotless, he asks: Oh hey mom, would you like some spinach omelet, I made it just for you! When your spouse enters, you look knowingly at each other. You've raised the perfect butler...
Now let reality set in...
Can you imagine the mess in the kitchen, bathroom and living room floor (my child would happily plop himself two feet away from the glow of the TV and proceed to mow down on sugar laced cereal in his underwear... that's what I envision anyway...)? Would you take the couple of hours of sleep over a clean house?
Clean house or not, when it gets to the point you are fantasizing about waking up at 7am, you know you need a mantra to get you through the day.... Think of the mess, think of the mess, think of the mess...
Friday, April 29, 2011
All Alone
I watched an interesting interview with a 20 something year old who has a sibling with Autism. He said he forced his autistic brother to play with him and found ways to connect on different levels. That makes me happy. What made me a little sad was the worry the "normie" brother had about what would happen to his autistic brother.
Can you imagine, before you have children, before you have a pet, before you have an apartment, your biggest fear is your sibling needing help and that you are the only one who can give it to him? For me, that is an awful fear. What a weight the child must carry in such a situation. How can a parent comfort such fears? "Oh don't worry, we'll have money to take care of him." I'm not totally sure that would work for me. I would worry that the money would disappear or worse be stolen. I would figure out ways to make sure the money would be safe. I would toss and turn at night after dreams of seeing my sibling lost and alone.
Or as this sibling pointed out: "We forced him into our world, it would be awful to see him all alone in the world he was forced to be part of."
These thoughts just make me nervous.... then something else dawns on me.... shouldn't the government be taking care of us? ... ahhhh, I'm so Canadian...
Can you imagine, before you have children, before you have a pet, before you have an apartment, your biggest fear is your sibling needing help and that you are the only one who can give it to him? For me, that is an awful fear. What a weight the child must carry in such a situation. How can a parent comfort such fears? "Oh don't worry, we'll have money to take care of him." I'm not totally sure that would work for me. I would worry that the money would disappear or worse be stolen. I would figure out ways to make sure the money would be safe. I would toss and turn at night after dreams of seeing my sibling lost and alone.
Or as this sibling pointed out: "We forced him into our world, it would be awful to see him all alone in the world he was forced to be part of."
These thoughts just make me nervous.... then something else dawns on me.... shouldn't the government be taking care of us? ... ahhhh, I'm so Canadian...
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Monty Python Helps Explain
Two very different approaches to dealing with autism....
Having a conversation with this head and tail of a tiger is almost as tiring as doing it with an autistic three year old.
The man looking for the leg just wants some logical answers to his questions. The head and tail seem to be trying to give answers but in a round about way. The one-less-leg man doesn't care why they seem odd or can't carry on a conversation, he just wants his leg.
We've all heard parents say they "lost" their child to autism. It's one of those things that makes autism so difficult to understand. Did the child go somewhere? Or have they always been there just hiding in the bushes behind these weirdos?
Thus my connection to this video.
The leg which has gone missing is your child.
When searching for your child among all the autistic traits (the tiger head and tail) there are some who ask instead "Why are you spinning" or "Why can't you talk?" (or in this case "why are you dressed as a tiger?") one sometimes forgets the whole point in the search to begin with- the leg (the child's personality, who they really are and who they could become).
People are looking for a "cure" for autism and there seems to be something forgotten. Who cares how or why it happened, let's find the friggin leg!
ps. I am all for understanding why autism happens and how we can prevent severe cases of it in future generations, but I'm not about to start pointing to a culprit when the real work should be with connecting with my child. Why would i put my energy into understanding why two grown men are in a tiger outfit?
Having a conversation with this head and tail of a tiger is almost as tiring as doing it with an autistic three year old.
The man looking for the leg just wants some logical answers to his questions. The head and tail seem to be trying to give answers but in a round about way. The one-less-leg man doesn't care why they seem odd or can't carry on a conversation, he just wants his leg.
We've all heard parents say they "lost" their child to autism. It's one of those things that makes autism so difficult to understand. Did the child go somewhere? Or have they always been there just hiding in the bushes behind these weirdos?
Thus my connection to this video.
The leg which has gone missing is your child.
When searching for your child among all the autistic traits (the tiger head and tail) there are some who ask instead "Why are you spinning" or "Why can't you talk?" (or in this case "why are you dressed as a tiger?") one sometimes forgets the whole point in the search to begin with- the leg (the child's personality, who they really are and who they could become).
People are looking for a "cure" for autism and there seems to be something forgotten. Who cares how or why it happened, let's find the friggin leg!
ps. I am all for understanding why autism happens and how we can prevent severe cases of it in future generations, but I'm not about to start pointing to a culprit when the real work should be with connecting with my child. Why would i put my energy into understanding why two grown men are in a tiger outfit?
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Buddhist Easter
It was only this past Friday that I realized something was happening this weekend. When my son's bus driver said he would see them next week it made me wonder what was happening to him. We got into the house and I glanced at the calendar. Good Friday was tomorrow! My first thought: What am I gonna do with my kids tomorrow?
The fact that I had a full 8 hours of entertaining my son seemed daunting. I would have to take them somewhere. It would be raining so the options were: Zoo, Children's Museum or a Toys R Us. The Zoo has this great children's zoo inside and there are lots of activities to do and animals to see without going into the rain. The problem with the Zoo is that I have to leave the stroller outside and I didn't want to carry my 20lb daughter as my 3 year old runs around. The children's museum seemed the best choice cause we are members and it wouldn't cost us a thing to go. The toy store just didn't appeal to me. I like spending my money on candy, but would prefer it be candy for myself.
So instead we spent Friday sitting on the couch watching movies. My son wasn't taking my bait of a gummi worm if he got in the car. There we sat, almost as in some artistic movie... staring at each other. Bored out of our minds. Couldn't even get some alone time as my son wouldn't have a nap on Friday. Of course I didn't try all that hard but I did ask him timidly if he wanted to have a nap.... that counts, that totally counts!
Anyway, here is to my Buddhist Easter! I hope you all enjoyed yours :)
The fact that I had a full 8 hours of entertaining my son seemed daunting. I would have to take them somewhere. It would be raining so the options were: Zoo, Children's Museum or a Toys R Us. The Zoo has this great children's zoo inside and there are lots of activities to do and animals to see without going into the rain. The problem with the Zoo is that I have to leave the stroller outside and I didn't want to carry my 20lb daughter as my 3 year old runs around. The children's museum seemed the best choice cause we are members and it wouldn't cost us a thing to go. The toy store just didn't appeal to me. I like spending my money on candy, but would prefer it be candy for myself.
So instead we spent Friday sitting on the couch watching movies. My son wasn't taking my bait of a gummi worm if he got in the car. There we sat, almost as in some artistic movie... staring at each other. Bored out of our minds. Couldn't even get some alone time as my son wouldn't have a nap on Friday. Of course I didn't try all that hard but I did ask him timidly if he wanted to have a nap.... that counts, that totally counts!
Anyway, here is to my Buddhist Easter! I hope you all enjoyed yours :)
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Phantom Autism
I remember learning while in college that there is a certain kind of illness people get when they start to study diseases and mental illnesses. I don't know the name of it and a quick search on Google says I won't be able to find it easily. Usually medial students get it as they study the destructive nature of our bodies. The human brain can really screw with you.
After reading multiple books and watching plenty of documentaries I feel like I'm starting to see signs of Autism in MY day to day life. I get very annoyed when my routine is uprooted and I have always had a hard time making friends. All in all it's hard to connect with people on EVERY level. But that's just silly!
Why would I NOW believe I have a developmental disability after I've already developed, let alone graduated high school and university without any outside help? I believe as a parent you tend to look to yourself when trying to understand what is happening to your children. It makes sense that I would want to connect with my child and one of the best ways is by finding a common ground. Or common disfunction? But, every parent has a common disfunction with their child. For some it's interest in bad habits, for others it's the way they laugh (mine would be called the woop, and both my children pop ear drums when they laugh).
The hard truth is: I don't Stem. I don't have difficulties with others. I don't fixate on things. I don't have one way of thinking. I am not autistic.... but, man, for some reason my brain wants to get me there!
As for now, I think I'll start looking harder at the world around me and how I perceive it. That's really all I can do, right? Or perhaps I can stop reading the studies on autism and get back into reading novels about romance. Romance is lovely, isn't it? I don't have to think and the "problems" the characters deal with seem trivial.
Take me away Ruthiford, or St John, or Bob.... take me to your ridiculous scenarios where there always seems to be a reason NOT to have a full conversation about relationships and everyone is beautiful..... ahhh, that's better.
After reading multiple books and watching plenty of documentaries I feel like I'm starting to see signs of Autism in MY day to day life. I get very annoyed when my routine is uprooted and I have always had a hard time making friends. All in all it's hard to connect with people on EVERY level. But that's just silly!
Why would I NOW believe I have a developmental disability after I've already developed, let alone graduated high school and university without any outside help? I believe as a parent you tend to look to yourself when trying to understand what is happening to your children. It makes sense that I would want to connect with my child and one of the best ways is by finding a common ground. Or common disfunction? But, every parent has a common disfunction with their child. For some it's interest in bad habits, for others it's the way they laugh (mine would be called the woop, and both my children pop ear drums when they laugh).
The hard truth is: I don't Stem. I don't have difficulties with others. I don't fixate on things. I don't have one way of thinking. I am not autistic.... but, man, for some reason my brain wants to get me there!
As for now, I think I'll start looking harder at the world around me and how I perceive it. That's really all I can do, right? Or perhaps I can stop reading the studies on autism and get back into reading novels about romance. Romance is lovely, isn't it? I don't have to think and the "problems" the characters deal with seem trivial.
Take me away Ruthiford, or St John, or Bob.... take me to your ridiculous scenarios where there always seems to be a reason NOT to have a full conversation about relationships and everyone is beautiful..... ahhh, that's better.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Grunting
Grunting is unacceptable at the dinner table. I've never really had a problem with it but the majority of people in USA would agree. The fact is it looks like my cooking has made everyone at the table de-evolve. Only recently grunting has started to really get on my nerves.
A three year old should be able to ask for things with WORDS. This is one of the "normal" things one would see with a child who has eaten his third birthday cake shaped like a train, but there is a different conversation going on in my house:
Mom: Do you want some food?
Son: Some food?
Mom: Is that yes?
Son: Is that yes?
Mom: Or no?
Son: Or no?
Mom: (he isn't listening to me so let me get his attention) How about a hippo?
Son: Hippo, okay!
Mom: You want to eat a hippo? (laughing heartily)
Son: Eat a hippo?
Mom: Yes or no?
Son: ..... (grunt)
Mom: Is that a no?
and so on...
If one were conversing with an adult, they would think this repeating activity was trying to bring a load of pain to the human tape recorder. It's funny to think of how often I hear what I have just said. Not only do I hear what I just said, but when I try to shake up the conversation enough to get my son more interested (ie inserting an animal he would NEVER eat) it seems to make him more frustrated. We both seem to know exactly what to do to bug the other.
He knows that if he repeats enough of what I say, I'll leave him alone eventually. I know that when I throw in something illogical he doesn't understand why I'm laughing. My son and I have a Love/(grunt) relationship.
Grunting came into our lives recently when my son was expected to use his words more often. He would grunt and get angry. There were screaming fits and flailing arms until I started reminding him he could use words. Asking a question he ALWAYS knows the answer to seems to help:
Mom: Please eat your lima beans.
Son: (grunt)
Mom: You've done so well with the rest of your meal, why not finish off those beans?
Son: (screaming grunt)
Mom: Do you want apple sauce for dessert? You have to eat your lima beans for apple sauce.
Son: (grunt scream grunt)
Mom: Please use your words.
Son: (SCREAMING GRUNT)
Mom: Do you want to go into a time out?
Son: No.
Mom: Then please use your words.
Son: Apple sauce
Mom: You can have apple sauce when you finish your lima beans.
Son: Apple sauce, PLEASE.
Mom: When you're finished your lima beans.
Son: (grunt)
and so on...
I'm sure I'd enjoy it oh so much more if I were a fly on the wall, but then again, everyone's life would be fun to watch as a fly on the wall....
Well, maybe not everyone's, but a few... okay, maybe just a couple.
A three year old should be able to ask for things with WORDS. This is one of the "normal" things one would see with a child who has eaten his third birthday cake shaped like a train, but there is a different conversation going on in my house:
Mom: Do you want some food?
Son: Some food?
Mom: Is that yes?
Son: Is that yes?
Mom: Or no?
Son: Or no?
Mom: (he isn't listening to me so let me get his attention) How about a hippo?
Son: Hippo, okay!
Mom: You want to eat a hippo? (laughing heartily)
Son: Eat a hippo?
Mom: Yes or no?
Son: ..... (grunt)
Mom: Is that a no?
and so on...
If one were conversing with an adult, they would think this repeating activity was trying to bring a load of pain to the human tape recorder. It's funny to think of how often I hear what I have just said. Not only do I hear what I just said, but when I try to shake up the conversation enough to get my son more interested (ie inserting an animal he would NEVER eat) it seems to make him more frustrated. We both seem to know exactly what to do to bug the other.
He knows that if he repeats enough of what I say, I'll leave him alone eventually. I know that when I throw in something illogical he doesn't understand why I'm laughing. My son and I have a Love/(grunt) relationship.
Grunting came into our lives recently when my son was expected to use his words more often. He would grunt and get angry. There were screaming fits and flailing arms until I started reminding him he could use words. Asking a question he ALWAYS knows the answer to seems to help:
Mom: Please eat your lima beans.
Son: (grunt)
Mom: You've done so well with the rest of your meal, why not finish off those beans?
Son: (screaming grunt)
Mom: Do you want apple sauce for dessert? You have to eat your lima beans for apple sauce.
Son: (grunt scream grunt)
Mom: Please use your words.
Son: (SCREAMING GRUNT)
Mom: Do you want to go into a time out?
Son: No.
Mom: Then please use your words.
Son: Apple sauce
Mom: You can have apple sauce when you finish your lima beans.
Son: Apple sauce, PLEASE.
Mom: When you're finished your lima beans.
Son: (grunt)
and so on...
I'm sure I'd enjoy it oh so much more if I were a fly on the wall, but then again, everyone's life would be fun to watch as a fly on the wall....
Well, maybe not everyone's, but a few... okay, maybe just a couple.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Trailer Trash
How bad is it that I keep finding myself looking a bit like a woman who spent the 39 of the 40 years of her life in a trailer? It just doesn't make sense to get "dressed up" for a day of chasing kids and trying to remember to eat properly (have I had veggies today? Ahh, forget it, I'll have some tomorrow, I PROMISE!).
Either way, it's funny how little I care about how people see me lately. Ya, I gained back those five pounds I kicked off my butt about two months ago, but I also gained some more! So, it's like getting more change back from the cashier than you thought you were going to get! YA, WIGGLY MIDDLE! Perhaps it's because I'm so tired, or perhaps I'm not getting enough "me" time at the salon (honestly, when was the last time I got my hair cut by someone other than myself or my husband?) but I'm going to use the excuse that my husband loves me.
He does. It doesn't matter how hairy my legs are or how smelly I am, he still loves me. Ya know, I've changed my mind. This is a stupid reason. (he still loves me though.)
I will instead say it is because I have won a billion dollars and shouldn't care what others think cause I could buy them out of their house if I wanted to! Wait, this one is stupid too.
Let's just say I have been making more purchases of gummibears and less adventures to the veggie world. It's not that hard to change what I've damaged, but who am I to change nature? Right? Am I right? ...
Let's just forget that if I were "natural" I would be running around with a spear trying to kill small mammals and wear their clothes because it gets cold here in Illinois! But, I'd be just as unshaven! So I'm half way to natural. Perhaps now I should enjoy an apple to turn myself around this corner of flabby street to fit avenue. Or I could eat those cookies I made today.
.... I'll have an apple tomorrow, I PROMISE!
Either way, it's funny how little I care about how people see me lately. Ya, I gained back those five pounds I kicked off my butt about two months ago, but I also gained some more! So, it's like getting more change back from the cashier than you thought you were going to get! YA, WIGGLY MIDDLE! Perhaps it's because I'm so tired, or perhaps I'm not getting enough "me" time at the salon (honestly, when was the last time I got my hair cut by someone other than myself or my husband?) but I'm going to use the excuse that my husband loves me.
He does. It doesn't matter how hairy my legs are or how smelly I am, he still loves me. Ya know, I've changed my mind. This is a stupid reason. (he still loves me though.)
I will instead say it is because I have won a billion dollars and shouldn't care what others think cause I could buy them out of their house if I wanted to! Wait, this one is stupid too.
Let's just say I have been making more purchases of gummibears and less adventures to the veggie world. It's not that hard to change what I've damaged, but who am I to change nature? Right? Am I right? ...
Let's just forget that if I were "natural" I would be running around with a spear trying to kill small mammals and wear their clothes because it gets cold here in Illinois! But, I'd be just as unshaven! So I'm half way to natural. Perhaps now I should enjoy an apple to turn myself around this corner of flabby street to fit avenue. Or I could eat those cookies I made today.
.... I'll have an apple tomorrow, I PROMISE!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
6pm Bedtime
You wouldn't think that such a crazy idea would work, right? Well, it actually has been pretty good lately since I pushed the bedtime back to when most people are arriving home from work.
The hardest part is the fact it's so bright outside! Who in they're right mind would think "NOW would be the best time to sleep" as they look out at the bright beginning of the evening and children frolicking in the green grass? Apparently I do.
After three weeks of blissfully waking after 6:30am I don't think I'll be able to go back to waking at 5 again. Of course there have been the night wakings. Once in a while I have both kids up at the same time and wonder if it is a good idea to put them down so early. Then I put my head down and wake up after the sun has risen, ahhhh, so relaxing.
To be fair, I have an earlier bedtime too. Instead of waiting for hubby to get home I will lay my head down and go to sleep at about 9pm. Really, this is a big deal to someone who stays up voluntarily until midnight at the earliest! So, you'd say I am giving myself the same restrictions. I do get exceptions though! Like: cleaning the kitchen... ok that's my only one but it's a good one and has to be done on a daily basis. So I just try to make the kitchen as messy as I possibly can so I can stay up, (and thus have gone to bed at 9pm once in the past two weeks). Easy schmeesy!
... of course that does mean that I am cleaning the whole time, which isn't the desired past time of many. But man, if you were a neat freak and wanted the best way to full fill the dream- I've got it!
Ha ha! Suckers! ..... wait....
The hardest part is the fact it's so bright outside! Who in they're right mind would think "NOW would be the best time to sleep" as they look out at the bright beginning of the evening and children frolicking in the green grass? Apparently I do.
After three weeks of blissfully waking after 6:30am I don't think I'll be able to go back to waking at 5 again. Of course there have been the night wakings. Once in a while I have both kids up at the same time and wonder if it is a good idea to put them down so early. Then I put my head down and wake up after the sun has risen, ahhhh, so relaxing.
To be fair, I have an earlier bedtime too. Instead of waiting for hubby to get home I will lay my head down and go to sleep at about 9pm. Really, this is a big deal to someone who stays up voluntarily until midnight at the earliest! So, you'd say I am giving myself the same restrictions. I do get exceptions though! Like: cleaning the kitchen... ok that's my only one but it's a good one and has to be done on a daily basis. So I just try to make the kitchen as messy as I possibly can so I can stay up, (and thus have gone to bed at 9pm once in the past two weeks). Easy schmeesy!
... of course that does mean that I am cleaning the whole time, which isn't the desired past time of many. But man, if you were a neat freak and wanted the best way to full fill the dream- I've got it!
Ha ha! Suckers! ..... wait....
Friday, April 15, 2011
Temple Grandin
Temple Grandin is an amazing woman who has surpassed every expectation for any person who has stepped in her path. We in the Autistic community look at her as the first Autistic person to speak about being autistic... novel, no? There is a movie out right now ("Temple Grandin" is the title) about her life.
SPOILER ALERT! I'm about to talk in detail about the movie...
Being a mother of a mildly autistic child, I wanted to learn more about Temple's mother. When first introduced I very much wanted to hate her. There were moments I thought this woman had no idea what her pushing was doing to her child. She WAS the cold cruel mother they spoke of in the 50s! AHA! Temple must have overcome her obstacle's DESPITE her mother!
Refrigerator Mothers, is what they used to call them, back when Bettelheim showed up on the scene with vast amounts of insight about stuff he made up. Yes, that's right. They blame the mother. The cold hearted mother who has no love for this little person. Of course it was usually the parents who wanted to find help for their children and not professionals. You'd think if you wanted help for your child it would equate how loving you are, but nope! Not during the 50s and 60s!
Temple's mother pushed her daughter through some of the hardest moments of anyone's life. From the tantrums of toddlerhood to the first day of college, mother was there.
I hated this woman as I watched for the first half an hour because she just seemed so determined to make Temple do things Temple didn't want to do. Imagine watching as they drive away from her Aunt's ranch in the passenger seat Temple looks lovingly at the ranch. (Goodbye, my only friends) Mother did it. As you are sitting there hating the mother for forcing her daughter to do this there is a flashback. Beautifully done.
First you see tantrums, glazed eyes looking at sparkling lights and a four year old girl who hasn't spoken a word. Flash to a doctor's office where the mother is told she has brought this upon her daughter. (Can you effing imagine!?) Temple's mother protests. She has another child and that child is normal. The doctor suggests institutionalization. The mother instead begins on the journey of teaching her child how to talk and communicate, all without professional help. You see the frustration and patience of this woman flash before you. Speaking, connection, screams, crying, pain all only seconds of images that represent a lifetime fight.
You realize, this is a good mother. She took on the system and brought her daughter out of her shell. It's a mother who knows what her daughter can do. This woman knows what Temple is capable of. She isn't being cruel or unloving. Just the opposite.
.... I just think it's good to remember as parents that pushing your child to their best potential is not cruel. It's love.
I believe Temple would equate love with what her mother did for her. It is hard not to bow your head in respect for this woman who made Temple Grandin the best she could be....
Eustacia Cutler is her name.....
SPOILER ALERT! I'm about to talk in detail about the movie...
Being a mother of a mildly autistic child, I wanted to learn more about Temple's mother. When first introduced I very much wanted to hate her. There were moments I thought this woman had no idea what her pushing was doing to her child. She WAS the cold cruel mother they spoke of in the 50s! AHA! Temple must have overcome her obstacle's DESPITE her mother!
Refrigerator Mothers, is what they used to call them, back when Bettelheim showed up on the scene with vast amounts of insight about stuff he made up. Yes, that's right. They blame the mother. The cold hearted mother who has no love for this little person. Of course it was usually the parents who wanted to find help for their children and not professionals. You'd think if you wanted help for your child it would equate how loving you are, but nope! Not during the 50s and 60s!
Temple's mother pushed her daughter through some of the hardest moments of anyone's life. From the tantrums of toddlerhood to the first day of college, mother was there.
I hated this woman as I watched for the first half an hour because she just seemed so determined to make Temple do things Temple didn't want to do. Imagine watching as they drive away from her Aunt's ranch in the passenger seat Temple looks lovingly at the ranch. (Goodbye, my only friends) Mother did it. As you are sitting there hating the mother for forcing her daughter to do this there is a flashback. Beautifully done.
First you see tantrums, glazed eyes looking at sparkling lights and a four year old girl who hasn't spoken a word. Flash to a doctor's office where the mother is told she has brought this upon her daughter. (Can you effing imagine!?) Temple's mother protests. She has another child and that child is normal. The doctor suggests institutionalization. The mother instead begins on the journey of teaching her child how to talk and communicate, all without professional help. You see the frustration and patience of this woman flash before you. Speaking, connection, screams, crying, pain all only seconds of images that represent a lifetime fight.
You realize, this is a good mother. She took on the system and brought her daughter out of her shell. It's a mother who knows what her daughter can do. This woman knows what Temple is capable of. She isn't being cruel or unloving. Just the opposite.
.... I just think it's good to remember as parents that pushing your child to their best potential is not cruel. It's love.
I believe Temple would equate love with what her mother did for her. It is hard not to bow your head in respect for this woman who made Temple Grandin the best she could be....
Eustacia Cutler is her name.....
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
A Quiet Party
I'm not sure if you have ever enjoyed the feeling of throwing a party and having fewer than three people show up, but let me tell you it is something else! Oh who cares, right? The three people who showed up are having a good time so screw the world, eh?....
Then the three people who actually did show up find a way to leave the party and you are stuck with chips and dip enough to feed an army. You don't even like chips or dip, but you thought your friends would! Oh well, time to sit on your couch and stare at the TV for a while because you can't think of anything else to do.
This is what I am feeling my life becoming. Not that I am alone or that I don't have a support network, but it's more like the aforementioned party is going on in my head and the one thought that is left at the party is the Autism one. All I keep talking about is Autism and I'm starting to get annoyed. I can't explain my thought patterns to myself anymore. I'm over those unhelpful repeating phrases. Should we do this? Or this? Or this? Can I do this? Or this? Or...
... you know what, I'll eat the damn chips and dip cause it will give me something else to think about other than this crap. I can't stop talking about Autism. I can't find anything else in my brain. It seems the whole party has died and I'm sitting there waiting for some other thought to show up! Maybe there are "thought" prostitutes I could call in to help distract. Although, I'm pretty sure they're expensive and I don't have that kind of mind money. Never mind...
... here's to thinking about other things... cheers, enjoy the stale chips and dip ;)
Then the three people who actually did show up find a way to leave the party and you are stuck with chips and dip enough to feed an army. You don't even like chips or dip, but you thought your friends would! Oh well, time to sit on your couch and stare at the TV for a while because you can't think of anything else to do.
This is what I am feeling my life becoming. Not that I am alone or that I don't have a support network, but it's more like the aforementioned party is going on in my head and the one thought that is left at the party is the Autism one. All I keep talking about is Autism and I'm starting to get annoyed. I can't explain my thought patterns to myself anymore. I'm over those unhelpful repeating phrases. Should we do this? Or this? Or this? Can I do this? Or this? Or...
... you know what, I'll eat the damn chips and dip cause it will give me something else to think about other than this crap. I can't stop talking about Autism. I can't find anything else in my brain. It seems the whole party has died and I'm sitting there waiting for some other thought to show up! Maybe there are "thought" prostitutes I could call in to help distract. Although, I'm pretty sure they're expensive and I don't have that kind of mind money. Never mind...
... here's to thinking about other things... cheers, enjoy the stale chips and dip ;)
Monday, April 11, 2011
What the hell is Autism?
So, after an enlightening conversation with my sister I made a rather interesting parallel. As I couldn't think of a better analogy for what the "Autism Spectrum" is other than the next explanation I am hoping others out there will have other ideas.
Any thoughts?
Autism Spectrum Disorder is to Asperger's Syndrome
as
Cancer is to Lymphoma
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Pooping in the Park
You know what? I think I'll just let the title sink in first.....
You see, it was a beautiful day yesterday and we needed to get outside. Perhaps the better phrase is MY SON needed to get outside. I could have gone either way and my 10 month old daughter just wanted to chew on stuff. It just made sense that we leave the house. After we were resolved to leave and enjoy the sunshine the next few things happened:
1) try on the potty
2) leave the house and pee in pants
3) return home, change and sit on potty for a few minutes
4) finally get to park
5) HAPPILY poop in pants
6) return home to clean up
7) get in tub, scream and kick poop laced water around thus making it splash EVERYWHERE
8) finally calm down and watch tv, while mommy cleans
I could make it a long story, but really the above is what happened.... enjoy that image :)
You see, it was a beautiful day yesterday and we needed to get outside. Perhaps the better phrase is MY SON needed to get outside. I could have gone either way and my 10 month old daughter just wanted to chew on stuff. It just made sense that we leave the house. After we were resolved to leave and enjoy the sunshine the next few things happened:
1) try on the potty
2) leave the house and pee in pants
3) return home, change and sit on potty for a few minutes
4) finally get to park
5) HAPPILY poop in pants
6) return home to clean up
7) get in tub, scream and kick poop laced water around thus making it splash EVERYWHERE
8) finally calm down and watch tv, while mommy cleans
I could make it a long story, but really the above is what happened.... enjoy that image :)
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Mat Leave
Just in the past three or four days I've been bombarded with mat leave/pregnancy/working vs SAH mothers and can't help but bring my opinions up without offending people. I don't know why!? (I do know why, these subjects are on the same lines as religion and politics... in friendly conversation you either completely agree or don't talk about it.)
First of all, I am not against mothers who go back to work after their mat leave. I believe it's choice that makes feminism great. And that is what working mothers have done, just like every other mother on earth. She has made a lifestyle/parenting choice. I encourage that.
Second of all, I may come off as one who doesn't want women to go back to work because I was put off by the fact that my obgyn had a baby and was back at work just 4or5 weeks later. I find this wrong. It's a choice, yes. She has the money to have the baby taken care of while she's at work, yes. So, I should be in support for this choice but I'm not. Not in the United States of America. Hell no.
If I could give you my explanation in what some would call "conspiracy" context.
Let us remember that in the great and most wonderful country USA, where the infant mortality rate is the highest of all the developed countries, women get 6 weeks off for mat leave by federal mandate. The company you work for is responsible for paying your "disability" check, or 60% of your pay for those 6 weeks.
Doesn't sound like it would be a bad offer, does it? 6 weeks off and money to boot! ... Ya, I'm not buying it. It just feels like some lobbyist, who's job it is to keep big business rich, has used the argument that women should be considered equal in the workplace and the only other thing they can find equal (price wise) to pregnancy is a serious surgery. So, you pushing a baby out of your va jaja and trying to feed it with your tatas is the equal to, let's say, back surgery.
Let's look at what happens when you have back surgery vs a baby.
both: pain
both: recovery time
birth: breast feeding; surgery: someone feeding you
birth: emotional ups and downs; surgery: being pissed off because you can't play basketball right now
birth: advil; surgery: about three different pain killers I couldn't name, even though I've worked in a medical bookstore
birth: lack of sleep; surgery: those drugs take care of that
birth: need community support; surgery: get the sympathy of a few people, where other's are pissed at you for getting 6 weeks off for a stupid slipped disc (I mean really, I hear joey has had a slipped disc for about 3 years and he isn't complaining!)
As one can see, although both have lots of pain and frustration happening, there is no way I think a doctor would put these two things in the same category.
Women need the support of the community after they have had a baby. I have had one when there was me and my husband and a few friends. Those few friends are all I had and am very thankful for them. What I see when a DOCTOR of all people show up to work just a few weeks after giving birth is ample reason NOT to give women more support after birth.
As a Lobbyist would say "There are even OBGYNs who return to work just 3 or 4 weeks after birth. How can we believe that women really need the extra time when we see such examples?"
So, I say thank you for giving corporations ample reason not to take PARENTING as seriously as surgery. Thanks for that.....
oh and don't even get me started on the father's leave! SHEESH!
First of all, I am not against mothers who go back to work after their mat leave. I believe it's choice that makes feminism great. And that is what working mothers have done, just like every other mother on earth. She has made a lifestyle/parenting choice. I encourage that.
Second of all, I may come off as one who doesn't want women to go back to work because I was put off by the fact that my obgyn had a baby and was back at work just 4or5 weeks later. I find this wrong. It's a choice, yes. She has the money to have the baby taken care of while she's at work, yes. So, I should be in support for this choice but I'm not. Not in the United States of America. Hell no.
If I could give you my explanation in what some would call "conspiracy" context.
Let us remember that in the great and most wonderful country USA, where the infant mortality rate is the highest of all the developed countries, women get 6 weeks off for mat leave by federal mandate. The company you work for is responsible for paying your "disability" check, or 60% of your pay for those 6 weeks.
Doesn't sound like it would be a bad offer, does it? 6 weeks off and money to boot! ... Ya, I'm not buying it. It just feels like some lobbyist, who's job it is to keep big business rich, has used the argument that women should be considered equal in the workplace and the only other thing they can find equal (price wise) to pregnancy is a serious surgery. So, you pushing a baby out of your va jaja and trying to feed it with your tatas is the equal to, let's say, back surgery.
Let's look at what happens when you have back surgery vs a baby.
both: pain
both: recovery time
birth: breast feeding; surgery: someone feeding you
birth: emotional ups and downs; surgery: being pissed off because you can't play basketball right now
birth: advil; surgery: about three different pain killers I couldn't name, even though I've worked in a medical bookstore
birth: lack of sleep; surgery: those drugs take care of that
birth: need community support; surgery: get the sympathy of a few people, where other's are pissed at you for getting 6 weeks off for a stupid slipped disc (I mean really, I hear joey has had a slipped disc for about 3 years and he isn't complaining!)
As one can see, although both have lots of pain and frustration happening, there is no way I think a doctor would put these two things in the same category.
Women need the support of the community after they have had a baby. I have had one when there was me and my husband and a few friends. Those few friends are all I had and am very thankful for them. What I see when a DOCTOR of all people show up to work just a few weeks after giving birth is ample reason NOT to give women more support after birth.
As a Lobbyist would say "There are even OBGYNs who return to work just 3 or 4 weeks after birth. How can we believe that women really need the extra time when we see such examples?"
So, I say thank you for giving corporations ample reason not to take PARENTING as seriously as surgery. Thanks for that.....
oh and don't even get me started on the father's leave! SHEESH!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Brazil Shootings
I am of the generation who were in High School when the Columbine shootings happened. I remember the day it happened. We at school were all huddled in front of televisions watching the events unfold on the news. I believe most of the day we were in our home rooms and didn't do much else. Lots of us were called home by our parents and many more refused because they wanted to be with their friends. I could understand that.
What I still, to this day, do not understand is the hate some feel. Enough hate or anger to hurt others. How could anyone believe themselves worthy of the task of taking lives, when those lives were so young? Honestly, it isn't fair. I can't find a reason for it. There is no answer other than anger and hate took hold when it shouldn't have.
I am a Buddhist. I believe that when your heart stops beating you suddenly understand life and why we live it. I can only hope that these souls do not feel the fear of the unknown and realize how much they are loved by the world. Every child is loved, we should let them know more often.
Incense for the lost and their loved ones suffering. 13 shot and more wounded.
News article
What I still, to this day, do not understand is the hate some feel. Enough hate or anger to hurt others. How could anyone believe themselves worthy of the task of taking lives, when those lives were so young? Honestly, it isn't fair. I can't find a reason for it. There is no answer other than anger and hate took hold when it shouldn't have.
I am a Buddhist. I believe that when your heart stops beating you suddenly understand life and why we live it. I can only hope that these souls do not feel the fear of the unknown and realize how much they are loved by the world. Every child is loved, we should let them know more often.
Incense for the lost and their loved ones suffering. 13 shot and more wounded.
News article
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Stomach Flu
All right, enough already! You mean spirited illnesses! Leave me alone!
Once again I caught something bad. Not only bad, but rather gross. When your kids have the stomach flu you think: Poor thing, they should get in bed and rest. When you have the stomach flu you think: Dear god someone kill me.
So you can guess what my house looked like after my husband arrived home. I texted him, very politely, wondering if he could get home before 8pm, ie the kids bedtime. I NEVER ask him to take work off when I'm sick, not that he doesn't ask if he should, so you can guess it was bad. I can just see his reaction at his desk. "8? Why would she need me to get home before 8? I might be able to take off an hour early but that's if all goes well over here. Why would she want me home at the kids bedtimes?... oooooooo.... ya, I should call my boss."
Off he dashed to get home and arrived to two rather over tired children. My son had taken off all his clothes and my daughter was chewing on news paper she had found in the recycling. I was on the living room floor. I had crawled from the bathroom because my son wanted chocolate milk and my daughter needed a bottle. After accomplishing both tasks I found a pillow and dropped it like it was hot.
Of course this was after two hours throwing up in the bathroom as my children happily opened all the drawers and pulled every last organized thing out. Not only did they remove them but my children, amazingly as a team, place each thing on me. Yes, ON me. I don't know what the fascination was but apparently it was fun. There were bandages and bandaids, tampons and pads, toothbrushes and thermometers all placed lightly on my legs, arms or head.
Thankfully nothing fell in the toilet and I'm still alive.... so that's good.
But this incident reminded me of a previous post I wrote. "Siblings" I believe it was. My hope that one day my son and daughter will play together happily while trying to get me killed or crippled. I think they're on their way.
My son was pretty sweet about the whole thing. He kept tapping my shoulder with his little hand reassuringly saying "It's ok, Mommy. It's ok." My daughter on the other hand has this awful habit of pulling my hair and thought it was just the greatest gift in the world to have Mommy's head so close to the ground. I guess you win some and you lose some.
Once again I caught something bad. Not only bad, but rather gross. When your kids have the stomach flu you think: Poor thing, they should get in bed and rest. When you have the stomach flu you think: Dear god someone kill me.
So you can guess what my house looked like after my husband arrived home. I texted him, very politely, wondering if he could get home before 8pm, ie the kids bedtime. I NEVER ask him to take work off when I'm sick, not that he doesn't ask if he should, so you can guess it was bad. I can just see his reaction at his desk. "8? Why would she need me to get home before 8? I might be able to take off an hour early but that's if all goes well over here. Why would she want me home at the kids bedtimes?... oooooooo.... ya, I should call my boss."
Off he dashed to get home and arrived to two rather over tired children. My son had taken off all his clothes and my daughter was chewing on news paper she had found in the recycling. I was on the living room floor. I had crawled from the bathroom because my son wanted chocolate milk and my daughter needed a bottle. After accomplishing both tasks I found a pillow and dropped it like it was hot.
Of course this was after two hours throwing up in the bathroom as my children happily opened all the drawers and pulled every last organized thing out. Not only did they remove them but my children, amazingly as a team, place each thing on me. Yes, ON me. I don't know what the fascination was but apparently it was fun. There were bandages and bandaids, tampons and pads, toothbrushes and thermometers all placed lightly on my legs, arms or head.
Thankfully nothing fell in the toilet and I'm still alive.... so that's good.
But this incident reminded me of a previous post I wrote. "Siblings" I believe it was. My hope that one day my son and daughter will play together happily while trying to get me killed or crippled. I think they're on their way.
My son was pretty sweet about the whole thing. He kept tapping my shoulder with his little hand reassuringly saying "It's ok, Mommy. It's ok." My daughter on the other hand has this awful habit of pulling my hair and thought it was just the greatest gift in the world to have Mommy's head so close to the ground. I guess you win some and you lose some.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Perpetual Motion Toys
...and where to get them! I'm not totally sure if I should be getting something like this for my son, but I'll tell you, I think it will help him.
I watch as he stares into spinning toys in toy stores or at the children's museum but I don't have anything that at home. It may be enabling to get him something he'll get lost in. Perhaps every professional on the planet would tell me I'm crazy and to get him away from the stimuli instead of force it upon him? I guess I could retort with knowing that it's an obsession and thus the need for it (you wouldn't take away his hat he needs to sleep, would you?). The need to relax and the lack of stimuli that do it for my son in the house just makes bedtime and mornings awful.
... and why is it he keeps getting up at 5am and seem wide awake? I know I'm not! Something I hope will help him stay in his bedroom and relax is this perpetual motion desktop thingy....
It took me weeks to find it. It took me seconds to decide I want it NOW! I am posting a site that I believe has the best kind of fidget stuff EVER! The best part is the videos for almost EVERY fidget toy so you can see how it works and if it's what may help relax you or your child.
I have been to specialty stores all over Chicagoland and this website is the only thing I've found useful. If you've been looking for what I have, than you'll be super excited you found it!! Enjoy!
Office Playground, Astroid Perpetual Motion
I watch as he stares into spinning toys in toy stores or at the children's museum but I don't have anything that at home. It may be enabling to get him something he'll get lost in. Perhaps every professional on the planet would tell me I'm crazy and to get him away from the stimuli instead of force it upon him? I guess I could retort with knowing that it's an obsession and thus the need for it (you wouldn't take away his hat he needs to sleep, would you?). The need to relax and the lack of stimuli that do it for my son in the house just makes bedtime and mornings awful.
... and why is it he keeps getting up at 5am and seem wide awake? I know I'm not! Something I hope will help him stay in his bedroom and relax is this perpetual motion desktop thingy....
It took me weeks to find it. It took me seconds to decide I want it NOW! I am posting a site that I believe has the best kind of fidget stuff EVER! The best part is the videos for almost EVERY fidget toy so you can see how it works and if it's what may help relax you or your child.
I have been to specialty stores all over Chicagoland and this website is the only thing I've found useful. If you've been looking for what I have, than you'll be super excited you found it!! Enjoy!
Office Playground, Astroid Perpetual Motion
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Head First
So, I may have jumped the gun when I said I wanted to donate ribbons for everyone to wear at the Children's Museum. The ribbon itself costs $5 for 10ft! So even if half of the people there wanted a ribbon that would be at least 40ft... hmmm, should really have thought that through.
But I bought 20ft of ribbon and have it safely high on a shelf. It's amazing how everything important or sharp is so high. I make the joke that when you come to my house to remember a tall person lives here. So always check top to bottom cupboards if you're looking for something. Makes me laugh. Some of my guests have just looked at me confused and my sister even said "Why do you keep saying that?"....
Guess it isn't as funny as I thought, heh. So, part of me wants to rewind what I promised and just show up with a lovely sign that says "Autism Awareness", but I assume that won't happen. If they decide they want the ribbons I don't really know what the F I'm gonna do.
I could sell my first born? Of course he's the reason I am pushing the awareness in the first place... wait! I've got a great idea:
"Autism Awareness Raffle! Prize: One Three Year Old. A chance to feel what it's like to have an autistic child!"
... ok, maybe not....
But I bought 20ft of ribbon and have it safely high on a shelf. It's amazing how everything important or sharp is so high. I make the joke that when you come to my house to remember a tall person lives here. So always check top to bottom cupboards if you're looking for something. Makes me laugh. Some of my guests have just looked at me confused and my sister even said "Why do you keep saying that?"....
Guess it isn't as funny as I thought, heh. So, part of me wants to rewind what I promised and just show up with a lovely sign that says "Autism Awareness", but I assume that won't happen. If they decide they want the ribbons I don't really know what the F I'm gonna do.
I could sell my first born? Of course he's the reason I am pushing the awareness in the first place... wait! I've got a great idea:
"Autism Awareness Raffle! Prize: One Three Year Old. A chance to feel what it's like to have an autistic child!"
... ok, maybe not....
Friday, April 1, 2011
April Fools
I realized something today. April is Autism Awareness Month and April 2nd is Autism Awareness Day. It suddenly made sense when I thought about it this way:
You give birth to a seemingly healthy and disability free child...
Then-
April Fools! YOUR CHILD IS AUTISTIC!
April 2nd: After you have recovered from the shock the next day you start to learn more about Autism... and will for the rest of the month (or in this analogy, your child's life) :)
I think I'll make an autism bag with the puzzle pieces fabric of the ribbon. Found some online. A little treat for me. Don't usually make stuff for myself as I look at it and say "I really should have given this to someone." I'm totally sure why I do that... perhaps next year I'll make a bunch of totes and hand them out to friends and family. That would make me feel like I'm spreading the word.
Ribbon,
Awesome Bag!
You give birth to a seemingly healthy and disability free child...
Then-
April Fools! YOUR CHILD IS AUTISTIC!
April 2nd: After you have recovered from the shock the next day you start to learn more about Autism... and will for the rest of the month (or in this analogy, your child's life) :)
I think I'll make an autism bag with the puzzle pieces fabric of the ribbon. Found some online. A little treat for me. Don't usually make stuff for myself as I look at it and say "I really should have given this to someone." I'm totally sure why I do that... perhaps next year I'll make a bunch of totes and hand them out to friends and family. That would make me feel like I'm spreading the word.
Ribbon,
Awesome Bag!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Three Hours
I thought it would be a good idea to have my son sleep in my bed while I tried to also have a nap. This has worked ONCE before so I thought it might again. Why do I have to be the one who never sleeps? Why do I have to be the one who wishes she could take a nap and never does? Why can't I get a nap in after 3 hours of sleep throughout the night? Why?
The answer so many will say is because I'm a mother. COME ON PEOPLE! That is a stupid reason. Why can't I throw hissy fits every time I get woken up in the night? I'd love to have the luxury of turning into a three year old every time I didn't get my wawa, but I freaking can't. You know why?
Cause I'm the only one in the house who can't. Period. It doesn't matter that I am the mom, it doesn't matter that I don't have a job outside of the house, it doesn't matter that I want to scream all the effing time. All that matters is that I can't and that is the end of that conversation.
I can't because it won't help the day go on faster and it won't help my health. If I got to hissy fit every time something annoyed me I wouldn't have time for anything else. That's why I can't.
I watched a documentary about "Refrigerator Mothers" and one woman said she was in such a depression that she wanted to kill herself, but couldn't because she had too much to do (I know, it's a big difference but...).
I wanna scream too, but it won't help me get the crap I have to get done done.
... I'm considering taking up smoking again....
The answer so many will say is because I'm a mother. COME ON PEOPLE! That is a stupid reason. Why can't I throw hissy fits every time I get woken up in the night? I'd love to have the luxury of turning into a three year old every time I didn't get my wawa, but I freaking can't. You know why?
Cause I'm the only one in the house who can't. Period. It doesn't matter that I am the mom, it doesn't matter that I don't have a job outside of the house, it doesn't matter that I want to scream all the effing time. All that matters is that I can't and that is the end of that conversation.
I can't because it won't help the day go on faster and it won't help my health. If I got to hissy fit every time something annoyed me I wouldn't have time for anything else. That's why I can't.
I watched a documentary about "Refrigerator Mothers" and one woman said she was in such a depression that she wanted to kill herself, but couldn't because she had too much to do (I know, it's a big difference but...).
I wanna scream too, but it won't help me get the crap I have to get done done.
... I'm considering taking up smoking again....
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Vacuum
We have a dog. One would assume that would cover what our relationship is with our dog but it really doesn't cover it all. We have a hyperactive, wheat allergic, constantly bored cattle dog mix. It wouldn't matter if you took her on three walks a day, this dog would want another three. But I digress....
We have a dog. She hates the vacuum. It makes her bark like mad. For some reason my children are used to her barking. It usually doesn't bother them other than when she barks right in their faces. What I find so interesting is the second the vacuum physically comes out of the closet the house seems to go ballistic.
Our dog barks. My son squeals and begs to stop having to do what he is doing (ie eating or cleaning something up). My daughter finds her way to a wall and starts to shake. I have to hold my ten month old to keep her calm. I endure the slamming of my son's door as he races away before the device is turned on. The dog continues to bark (and she isn't even in the same room!).
I finish vacuuming and what happens next makes me shake my head. My son asks very nicely to use the vacuum. Seriously? You couldn't have used it while plugged into the wall so I could have sat back and enjoyed you doing some of the work? I guess not.
And all the while.... the dog continues to bark. She won't stop until the vacuum is safely back in the closet. You know what's even scarier? She totally knows the second that happens and the house is suddenly returned to peace.
We have a dog. She hates the vacuum. It makes her bark like mad. For some reason my children are used to her barking. It usually doesn't bother them other than when she barks right in their faces. What I find so interesting is the second the vacuum physically comes out of the closet the house seems to go ballistic.
Our dog barks. My son squeals and begs to stop having to do what he is doing (ie eating or cleaning something up). My daughter finds her way to a wall and starts to shake. I have to hold my ten month old to keep her calm. I endure the slamming of my son's door as he races away before the device is turned on. The dog continues to bark (and she isn't even in the same room!).
I finish vacuuming and what happens next makes me shake my head. My son asks very nicely to use the vacuum. Seriously? You couldn't have used it while plugged into the wall so I could have sat back and enjoyed you doing some of the work? I guess not.
And all the while.... the dog continues to bark. She won't stop until the vacuum is safely back in the closet. You know what's even scarier? She totally knows the second that happens and the house is suddenly returned to peace.
Monday, March 28, 2011
TV in bed
I am not a fan of letting my son watch too much tv. It just doesn't seem to help him do anything but stop bothering me. We don't like plopping our son in front of it and walking away. BUT- there are moments when it seems like the only thing I CAN do...
Examples
1) Trying to get my 10 month old to sleep
2) While I clean the dishes I need for dinner which I am told must be made asap, or the world will end.
3) When I am having a "I wish I believed in spanking" moment
4) Illness... like today
We are sick again! And not only that, it's during spring break so that makes it that much more special! I get to clean up puke and try to get liquid into a 3 year old while my 10 month old giggles and blows raspberries at us.
My husband put the tv in our son's room because he wouldn't stay in his bed. Makes sense to me. Of course I can't say it's just because of that I am happy the tv has moved. I am now sitting in my empty living room as my sick son watches Super Hero Squad and my daughter naps. It's quiet and I'm able to unwind from my weekend of the same illness....
So, it's my daughter's turn to get sick. That will be fun...
Examples
1) Trying to get my 10 month old to sleep
2) While I clean the dishes I need for dinner which I am told must be made asap, or the world will end.
3) When I am having a "I wish I believed in spanking" moment
4) Illness... like today
We are sick again! And not only that, it's during spring break so that makes it that much more special! I get to clean up puke and try to get liquid into a 3 year old while my 10 month old giggles and blows raspberries at us.
My husband put the tv in our son's room because he wouldn't stay in his bed. Makes sense to me. Of course I can't say it's just because of that I am happy the tv has moved. I am now sitting in my empty living room as my sick son watches Super Hero Squad and my daughter naps. It's quiet and I'm able to unwind from my weekend of the same illness....
So, it's my daughter's turn to get sick. That will be fun...
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Magazines
Holy crap! I just found these! ME WANT!!!
Spectrum
Autism Digest
Autism Spectrum Quarterly
I should have looked this up earlier!!
Spectrum
Autism Digest
Autism Spectrum Quarterly
I should have looked this up earlier!!
I'm tired
Why is it that every morning I wake up and want to go back to sleep? You would think I would be full of energy to get my son out the door and off to school as quickly as I could so "me time" would start sooner rather than later. Sadly, it just doesn't work that way in my house.
I can imagine mothers everywhere wondering how other mothers do it. Wonder how they get through the day without konking out at the computer xxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
But seriously, there is mother's day. We should salute every mother on this day. I think instead we find ourselves being mothers. I often dream of getting breakfast in bed and not having to get up to make it. It would be rather enjoyable to sleep until the sun comes up. Oh the joy of seeing a sunrise. When was the last time I didn't see one?
At present my husband is painting a panda bear on my son's wall. I had a short nap this morning after being up with a sick nine month old and forced myself to get up so I could help him paint one wall tan. As a mother I felt it my obligation to push to get it done today. I tried to get it done a couple of days ago. Ya, that didn't work either.
So, here I am covered in paint because my son's room looks like a hospital ward room after taking down all the breakable pictures. We've made the rule in the house that our son can throw balls in the house, but only in his room. It seems to be one of the few things he "needs" to do, so I'm thankful for that. But I do it for my child. I just hope he remembers years down the line how awesome his parents are...
I can imagine mothers everywhere wondering how other mothers do it. Wonder how they get through the day without konking out at the computer xxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
But seriously, there is mother's day. We should salute every mother on this day. I think instead we find ourselves being mothers. I often dream of getting breakfast in bed and not having to get up to make it. It would be rather enjoyable to sleep until the sun comes up. Oh the joy of seeing a sunrise. When was the last time I didn't see one?
At present my husband is painting a panda bear on my son's wall. I had a short nap this morning after being up with a sick nine month old and forced myself to get up so I could help him paint one wall tan. As a mother I felt it my obligation to push to get it done today. I tried to get it done a couple of days ago. Ya, that didn't work either.
So, here I am covered in paint because my son's room looks like a hospital ward room after taking down all the breakable pictures. We've made the rule in the house that our son can throw balls in the house, but only in his room. It seems to be one of the few things he "needs" to do, so I'm thankful for that. But I do it for my child. I just hope he remembers years down the line how awesome his parents are...
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Repetition
Oh my god.... I cannot sing that song again. But like every good mother I do through gritted teeth and a smile. Thankfully my son doesn't notice and will take it happily. I don't know what the song actually is so singing it is rather interesting. My son doesn't sing all the words so that explains my confusion. Of course I can kind of guess what the song is.
It counts numbers and with each number has a rhyming phrase. It sounds cute (8, 8 we're on a date- woo hoo!) and part of me wonders what all the rhyming is. You could put some bad words in there between the cute rhymes. 6 rhymes with licks and fix. 9 rhymes with crime (sort of).
You could make some naughty songs with the numbers 1-10.... or it could just be adorable coming out of a three year olds mouth :)
It counts numbers and with each number has a rhyming phrase. It sounds cute (8, 8 we're on a date- woo hoo!) and part of me wonders what all the rhyming is. You could put some bad words in there between the cute rhymes. 6 rhymes with licks and fix. 9 rhymes with crime (sort of).
You could make some naughty songs with the numbers 1-10.... or it could just be adorable coming out of a three year olds mouth :)
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Fathering
Have you ever seen a father and son in the grocery store and thought to yourself "What a great dad."? I do, but when I do I remember a comic (it could have been a writer, but let's just say it was a comic) talking about an incident while he had his two children with him food shopping.
He announced rather proudly that he was not a good father. The audience laughed, cause you're supposed to laugh at that kind of stuff when a comic says it. Talking about walking through the store and wanting to murder his toddler about three times made the audience laughed thoroughly. It was funny. But the best part was when the comic said he got up to the cash register and the woman in line in front of him said "You're such a good father". He was stunned. Looking down at his two year old eating a hoho and his ten month old chewing on a twist tie, he was sure this woman needed glasses. It made me rethink "father" adoring.
Now, as I notice fathers pulling their kids by the hands through stores or streets, I watch more closely. It's a bit of an eye opener. One day I watched as a father with two kids around the age of 8 walked out of the church across the street from where I stood. The father walked closely with his children and checked the road for cars before letting them cross. He seemed to have his father badge on. It was when I heard what they were talking about I tried not to gasp.
"What the F*&K kid? Are you stupid or something? Do you even know how stupid that is? Would you just stop F*&king doing that S*&T and stop being so juvenile?"
I was shocked. Who talks that way to a kid, let alone their kid, with such easiness? People watching from a distance would assume they were talking about the weather. And who believes that any kid under the age of 17 won't do something juvenile? I believe "kids" fall under the juvenile category.
Now, the point. My son has been testing boundaries and I wasn't completely sure if it is because he is starting to show signs of Autism or if he is just a 3 year old. My husband, the man who sees his son about five hours during the week, showed me how capable our son really is. Our son was refusing to stay with us in the grocery store (which made me think of the above story). Cooly and calmly my husband was able to keep our son on task without the screaming battle I usually encounter.
I learned something today: Now, THAT is a good father!
I'm not totally sure if my bias is part of my discovery. Anyone can make a baby (that's easy... and fun usually), but raising them lovingly and with a sense of humor is much harder. Let's try to cheer on the good ones and point them out for the bad ones to observe.... maybe they'll learn something too.
He announced rather proudly that he was not a good father. The audience laughed, cause you're supposed to laugh at that kind of stuff when a comic says it. Talking about walking through the store and wanting to murder his toddler about three times made the audience laughed thoroughly. It was funny. But the best part was when the comic said he got up to the cash register and the woman in line in front of him said "You're such a good father". He was stunned. Looking down at his two year old eating a hoho and his ten month old chewing on a twist tie, he was sure this woman needed glasses. It made me rethink "father" adoring.
Now, as I notice fathers pulling their kids by the hands through stores or streets, I watch more closely. It's a bit of an eye opener. One day I watched as a father with two kids around the age of 8 walked out of the church across the street from where I stood. The father walked closely with his children and checked the road for cars before letting them cross. He seemed to have his father badge on. It was when I heard what they were talking about I tried not to gasp.
"What the F*&K kid? Are you stupid or something? Do you even know how stupid that is? Would you just stop F*&king doing that S*&T and stop being so juvenile?"
I was shocked. Who talks that way to a kid, let alone their kid, with such easiness? People watching from a distance would assume they were talking about the weather. And who believes that any kid under the age of 17 won't do something juvenile? I believe "kids" fall under the juvenile category.
Now, the point. My son has been testing boundaries and I wasn't completely sure if it is because he is starting to show signs of Autism or if he is just a 3 year old. My husband, the man who sees his son about five hours during the week, showed me how capable our son really is. Our son was refusing to stay with us in the grocery store (which made me think of the above story). Cooly and calmly my husband was able to keep our son on task without the screaming battle I usually encounter.
I learned something today: Now, THAT is a good father!
I'm not totally sure if my bias is part of my discovery. Anyone can make a baby (that's easy... and fun usually), but raising them lovingly and with a sense of humor is much harder. Let's try to cheer on the good ones and point them out for the bad ones to observe.... maybe they'll learn something too.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
50 Ways to...
You know that song "50 ways to leave your lover"? I feel this song truly speaks to me. Not really about leaving a lover but trying to get my child to sleep. It feels like there are 50 ways I can get him to sleep but never know which of the 50 will work at what time.
The real problem is that without a nap my three year old will (99% of the time) have a night terror. It corresponds almost exactly.
To actually get my son to fall asleep I have tried many methods (including: stories, music, dvds, darkness, light, silence, noise, dancing and bribing are among the easiest to explain in one word) I don't know how to cut his nap. We did try for about a week and that was a HUGE mistake. Is there something that's more tired than over tired?? Dropping this nap just doesn't seem to be happening as quickly as all my friends said it would.
I should be careful what I wish for though. Cause the minute he stops having his naps is the day I become more exhausted than a sloth trying to make a deadline.
So,
1) I have to get him to sleep, at the very least 1 hour. If no nap, bad night.
2) Yes, we have a gate on his door. I do not cage my children.... I "gate" them. Not in a cattle kind of way, more like a "Iloveyoubutyoucan'thandlebeinganywhereelseinthehousewithoutfreakingout" kinda way.
3) My son rarely has naps when his 9 month old sister does..... I'm just gonna let that sink in for a minute.
4) Over tired is a given after fighting him for 20 minutes to have a nap, even when I try to put him down for a nap 20 minutes before he will be tired.
These are the obstacles we face each day. The real question for me is: Is it worth it? Is the two hour fight worth the good sleep between 7-11pm?
The answer changes. After he has fallen asleep for his nap, the answer is yes. While being yelled and kicked at before falling asleep for his nap, the answer is no.
If for no other reason than my sanity, I think I'm gonna stop thinking about this.... it just makes me sleepy.
The real problem is that without a nap my three year old will (99% of the time) have a night terror. It corresponds almost exactly.
To actually get my son to fall asleep I have tried many methods (including: stories, music, dvds, darkness, light, silence, noise, dancing and bribing are among the easiest to explain in one word) I don't know how to cut his nap. We did try for about a week and that was a HUGE mistake. Is there something that's more tired than over tired?? Dropping this nap just doesn't seem to be happening as quickly as all my friends said it would.
I should be careful what I wish for though. Cause the minute he stops having his naps is the day I become more exhausted than a sloth trying to make a deadline.
So,
1) I have to get him to sleep, at the very least 1 hour. If no nap, bad night.
2) Yes, we have a gate on his door. I do not cage my children.... I "gate" them. Not in a cattle kind of way, more like a "Iloveyoubutyoucan'thandlebeinganywhereelseinthehousewithoutfreakingout" kinda way.
3) My son rarely has naps when his 9 month old sister does..... I'm just gonna let that sink in for a minute.
4) Over tired is a given after fighting him for 20 minutes to have a nap, even when I try to put him down for a nap 20 minutes before he will be tired.
These are the obstacles we face each day. The real question for me is: Is it worth it? Is the two hour fight worth the good sleep between 7-11pm?
The answer changes. After he has fallen asleep for his nap, the answer is yes. While being yelled and kicked at before falling asleep for his nap, the answer is no.
If for no other reason than my sanity, I think I'm gonna stop thinking about this.... it just makes me sleepy.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Illness
ya, we are sick... and what I mean is that my children and husband have been sick for the last week and are now finally on the mend but I am getting the hard hits. Being the mom sometimes sucks.
I started getting sick when the kids started getting sick. My husband had what I would call a 12 hour cold and I have never had such gunk in my throat before! Bleck! So, after a week of nursing the children it is now time for my immune system to essentially fall down and let the goo take over.
That may be an over statement, but it still sucks! My three year old is moving in the direction of no nap and my nine month old has decided that 45 minutes of a nap is long enough to get through the day. I, on the other hand, have been exhausted since I gave birth to my son over three years ago.... No, wait, it was about three months before he was born that I got my last full night sleep. Either way, I have to coordinate the naps very well to get any kind of sleep. Yesterday, I actually got 20 minutes with the house quiet.
It's mostly my fault though.
What bat crazy woman takes on waking up in the night to take care of BOTH children and wakes up early to feed them both breakfast? I have an answer, but you may not like it.... the one who's married to the guy who gets home at 11pm from a service industry job where he must be chipper and helpful to all paying clients, whether they are jerks or not... (that may also be an over statement)
So, we all get sick. This is due in part to my son starting school this past January. Every two weeks we get sick. All of us. Although it takes me an extra three days to get better, I get about a week of feeling like myself when the next illness comes to smack us all upside the head. Of course the up side to this (told to me by friends of older children) is that the immune system is learning aswell at this age. So, any illness they get now, the immune system will learn how to fight it off and it will take MUCH less time next time they catch it. So, woo! In another three years my son will stop getting sick every two weeks.... man....
I've got to look into paying another kid to get sick for my son....
I started getting sick when the kids started getting sick. My husband had what I would call a 12 hour cold and I have never had such gunk in my throat before! Bleck! So, after a week of nursing the children it is now time for my immune system to essentially fall down and let the goo take over.
That may be an over statement, but it still sucks! My three year old is moving in the direction of no nap and my nine month old has decided that 45 minutes of a nap is long enough to get through the day. I, on the other hand, have been exhausted since I gave birth to my son over three years ago.... No, wait, it was about three months before he was born that I got my last full night sleep. Either way, I have to coordinate the naps very well to get any kind of sleep. Yesterday, I actually got 20 minutes with the house quiet.
It's mostly my fault though.
What bat crazy woman takes on waking up in the night to take care of BOTH children and wakes up early to feed them both breakfast? I have an answer, but you may not like it.... the one who's married to the guy who gets home at 11pm from a service industry job where he must be chipper and helpful to all paying clients, whether they are jerks or not... (that may also be an over statement)
So, we all get sick. This is due in part to my son starting school this past January. Every two weeks we get sick. All of us. Although it takes me an extra three days to get better, I get about a week of feeling like myself when the next illness comes to smack us all upside the head. Of course the up side to this (told to me by friends of older children) is that the immune system is learning aswell at this age. So, any illness they get now, the immune system will learn how to fight it off and it will take MUCH less time next time they catch it. So, woo! In another three years my son will stop getting sick every two weeks.... man....
I've got to look into paying another kid to get sick for my son....
Monday, March 14, 2011
I'm feeling pained...
So this won't be a long one, but I am feeling sad. My husband said to me today that our son may not have autism, it may be ADHD. I can't help but take a step back and wonder if he has been watching our son differently than I have. If I have been too quick to agree that he is autistic and should be fighting harder to say "nothing is wrong with him"....
But there is nothing wrong. This is who he is. Perhaps I am jumping in too quickly, perhaps my husband is right in slowing my move to action....
If not, though, my husband may be in for a wave of emotion at some point. I just hope that doesn't happen.
But there is nothing wrong. This is who he is. Perhaps I am jumping in too quickly, perhaps my husband is right in slowing my move to action....
If not, though, my husband may be in for a wave of emotion at some point. I just hope that doesn't happen.
Hair Cut
Who would have thought giving your child a hair cut would be so traumatic? After two weeks of trying to get my son's wild hair under control, we did the unthinkable two nights ago. We actually had to hold him down to cut his hair.
I wouldn't have cared as much except he refused the candy we promised him if he let us cut his hair. The whole thing was a stupid idea, but we've done it so many times you would think this would be routine! This was the first time he FREAKED out about us touching his hair. And it was only after half of it was cut, oh imagine an opposite mullet. Very unique.
I often wonder if symptoms of Austim show up slowly. If so, we're in for more exciting times to come. Both my husband and I turned to each other when the cut was finally finished and agreed never to cut his hair again. We could go to a salon and see if he would go for it there, if not, then we're letting his hair grow. He'll just have to become part of a hair band.
Which, if you think about it, wouldn't be all that bad. At dinner last night he was drumming the table the way my father (lifetime drummer) does constantly. Perhaps my son will become a drummer for an up and coming band. Or will grow old with three different drum sets to play on when ever he likes.
Either way, we learned something about my son this past weekend. The lesson was well ingrained in all of us. Don't touch the kid's hair.... period.
I wouldn't have cared as much except he refused the candy we promised him if he let us cut his hair. The whole thing was a stupid idea, but we've done it so many times you would think this would be routine! This was the first time he FREAKED out about us touching his hair. And it was only after half of it was cut, oh imagine an opposite mullet. Very unique.
I often wonder if symptoms of Austim show up slowly. If so, we're in for more exciting times to come. Both my husband and I turned to each other when the cut was finally finished and agreed never to cut his hair again. We could go to a salon and see if he would go for it there, if not, then we're letting his hair grow. He'll just have to become part of a hair band.
Which, if you think about it, wouldn't be all that bad. At dinner last night he was drumming the table the way my father (lifetime drummer) does constantly. Perhaps my son will become a drummer for an up and coming band. Or will grow old with three different drum sets to play on when ever he likes.
Either way, we learned something about my son this past weekend. The lesson was well ingrained in all of us. Don't touch the kid's hair.... period.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Siblings
I find it rather interesting how my son interacts with his sister versus other people. Perhaps it's because he knows what will happen if he pushes his sister and thus does it as much as he can without getting in BIG trouble. Or maybe it's because he sees other people as unsuitable push overs, whereas his sister is so easy to prod a bit. What can you expect from a nine month old though?
While at the Children's museum today my son played wonderfully with the other children. Stepped back for everyone to have a turn and never jumped in front of anyone to play with a toy. Of course we are talking about the kid who hits the floor when anyone talks to him. So, gracefully walking away is probably the easier choice to interacting with others.
It makes me wonder if he is actually more interested in avoiding children. Watching him walk into a group of three or four kids was a hopeful occurrence. This was followed by the children walking away as my son took over the spinny toy. At least I know what motivates him. Spinny things. Who would have thought a spiral would force him to step outside of his box?! Wish I had that effect on him.
All that being said, there are moments when I see my son and daughter laughing together over spit or farts. Yes, a nine month old can laugh at farts, who knew!? Those are moments that make me the most excited. One day both my children will get a good laugh out of me falling on my butt because they put turtle wax right by the entrance to the house. Yes, I'll break my arm and have to go to the hospital and my autistic son will not really understand why I'm crying nor will he fully understand how to console me, but at least the kids did it together. It was a team effort.
And really, if nothing else, siblings are all about getting people on your side against the parents. Oh the fun we'll have! And the lectures I'll have to prepare....
Friday, March 11, 2011
Autism
Well, ladies and gentlemen, here it is. My son is on the spectrum for autism. It is mild, but has been affecting his everyday learning in school. I realize he is only 3 years old, but it's a huge plus to know this stuff early. ... So, that's my big news. He has autism. I'm not in denial or regret mode. I'm in, ok, so he's got Autism. Let's help him, who the fuck cares how mild it is. I want my son to live a normal life and be able to cope with the crazy world us "un-autistic" people live in.
What have I noticed? I'm comparing my children almost every second now, more than in the past. I'm learning I need WAY more patience. His diet is glutton free. I'm not forcing him to get his hair cut anymore... working on that patience thing. Our nights have become awful but we aren't using diapers anymore, not as good a switch off as I'd prefer, but I'll take what I can. There are times I wish I knew what it was like in his head. Throwing has become a normal happening in our house... but only in his bedroom.
My 9 month old daughter is "singing" to us. The Lalalas are sweet reminders that she wants to communicate and get attention at the same time. Our son never did that. Our daughter turns her head when you say her name. Our son didn't do that until closer to 2 years old. Our daughter is showing us how many clues we had.
I'll say this, I understand now when my sister and I would talk about our sons (who are only 6 weeks apart) and both be dumbfounded by what the other was doing/not doing. How the other communicated with their child and how we each understood our child. Those were always weird conversations. "He's telling you what? He actually gives you a hug when you cry? You're able to give him directions with more then one step?" vs "He can climb what? He runs? He can string beads on a string? He can stack how many blocks?" .... very different experience.
And so begins my experience....
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