Fathering

Have you ever seen a father and son in the grocery store and thought to yourself "What a great dad."?  I do, but when I do I remember a comic (it could have been a writer, but let's just say it was a comic) talking about an incident while he had his two children with him food shopping.

He announced rather proudly that he was not a good father.  The audience laughed, cause you're supposed to laugh at that kind of stuff when a comic says it.  Talking about walking through the store and wanting to murder his toddler about three times made the audience laughed thoroughly.  It was funny.  But the best part was when the comic said he got up to the cash register and the woman in line in front of him said "You're such a good father".  He was stunned.  Looking down at his two year old eating a hoho and his ten month old chewing on a twist tie, he was sure this woman needed glasses.  It made me rethink "father" adoring.

Now, as I notice fathers pulling their kids by the hands through stores or streets, I watch more closely.  It's a bit of an eye opener.  One day I watched as a father with two kids around the age of 8 walked out of the church across the street from where I stood.  The father walked closely with his children and checked the road for cars before letting them cross.  He seemed to have his father badge on.  It was when I heard what they were talking about I tried not to gasp.

"What the F*&K kid?  Are you stupid or something?  Do you even know how stupid that is?  Would you just stop F*&king doing that S*&T and stop being so juvenile?"

I was shocked.  Who talks that way to a kid, let alone their kid, with such easiness?  People watching from a distance would assume they were talking about the weather.  And who believes that any kid under the age of 17 won't do something juvenile?  I believe "kids" fall under the juvenile category.

Now, the point.  My son has been testing boundaries and I wasn't completely sure if it is because he is starting to show signs of Autism or if he is just a 3 year old.  My husband, the man who sees his son about five hours during the week, showed me how capable our son really is.  Our son was refusing to stay with us in the grocery store (which made me think of the above story).  Cooly and calmly my husband was able to keep our son on task without the screaming battle I usually encounter.

I learned something today: Now, THAT is a good father!

I'm not totally sure if my bias is part of my discovery.  Anyone can make a baby (that's easy... and fun usually), but raising them lovingly and with a sense of humor is much harder.  Let's try to cheer on the good ones and point them out for the bad ones to observe.... maybe they'll learn something too.